Bleed
by EvaCampos
Summary: Castiel's not right in the brain and Dean's finding a way to fix it and understand what's going on within himself. Castiel/Dean. Drama.
1. Aches

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Supernatural nor its characters. Sadly._

 _ **Author's note:** This first one chapter is short, but next will compensate it. I look forward for your reviews. Please. And I promise there will be some sweet-to-give-you-cavities chapters. Thank you for reading!_

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"Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters."

That single sentence made Dean's heart ache more than ever.

For there was something he never wanted to see in his life -or afterlife-, was Castiel hurt. And Castiel knew it. In some undamaged part of that pretty little fried brain of his, he knew it.

He imitated the little smirk from the angel's lips and watched the deep, sorry, blue eyes fixated on the little glass vessel filled now with blood that was being offered to him from the hands almost entirely covered by the trench coat.

Castiel's smile was sincere. He didn't understand Dean's concern, though. He could tell just by looking at the hunter's eyes. He knew the brothers were most likely to save the world, more times than anybody else. More times than him, that was for sure. And even tho he didn't wanted to talk about it, and that some details were totally mixed up in his head, this, being able of being here, and smell the flowers, and watch the birds, and see Dean' smile, and when he licked his lips nervously, and when he frowned at Meg, and hear his name coming out of Dean's mouth… It was all really calming, and it was for sure much more than he deserved. He was finally at peace.

And he knew Dean worried about him. And that he wanted him to be the way he was before all the leviathan thing. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe this was the way it was all supposed to be. Not worrying about angels and demons and leviathans and monsters and prophets… Just this. Smell the flowers, watch the birds, and see Dean' smile.

And when Castiel zapped out every time the volume raised, Dean felt guilty again. Because there was no way Castiel deserved this. Of course, he had released leviathans into this world after homing the whole Purgatory's repertory of souls, but who hadn't done anything stupid in that room? For fuck's sake. He had made a deal with a demon, erased Lisa and Ben's memory to forget about him and broke the first seal that started the Apocalypse by torturing souls back in the Pit. Sam had gone soulless for almost a year, banged a demon and released Lucifer from his cage in Hell. Meg was a treacherous demon-bitch who almost got their dad killed. Castiel was pretty much the most decent of them all.

And the poor now-loony-ex-Angel-of-the-Lord had only want to help.

Dean took the vessel from Castiel's hand and thanked him. He was going to fix this. He was going to fix Cass. No matter what it took. As soon as those leviathans sons of bitches were back in Purgatory, he was going to come back and do everything within his power to get HIS ANGEL back.

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 _The next chapter will be up by Sept. 22nd. Thank you for reading and, please, review!_


	2. Dreams

_**N.A.:** This is the second chapter of what I'm planning as a five chapter story. Thank you for reading and please, let me know what you think. If you want to write to me just to tell me how much I suck, I accept it as well. :P_

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Castiel was gone within a blink, and Dean could only look at his brother the only way Sam had seen him in months. There was sadness, despair and, clearly for Sam, a broken heart. There were less jokes than normal, there was no singing along with the stereo, there was no enthusiasm while biting a burger. There was no life remaining in Dean's eyes. And Sam had seen it.

They had found a way to kill Dick and his leviathan's entourage, and that should've lifted Dean's spirit. There were only a few things they needed to get, but nothing too complicated. When they were getting a bone from a righteous mortal and choose Sister Mary Constant, Castiel had recognized the bone just by smelling it, giving the brothers a content smile that Dean could only read as satisfaction… maybe happiness. And that had felt like a knife right through the chest.

As the night caught up on them, Dean felt asleep, waiting for the morning to come to finally get rid of Dick Roman and his fellowship of the black goo. He felt better after Castiel agreed to go with him to stop the big mouthed. He was relaxed, with a hand hanging from the cot, breathing slowly and steadily. Castiel watched upon him quietly, paying attention to the way the hunter's chest went up and down, matching his own breath to Dean's.

Meg was out, doing whatever the hell demons do when they're bored, and Sam was sleeping and snoring loudly on the other side of the cabin. Castiel crossed both arms on his chest and tilted his head. He could hear the heartbeat of the man in front of him and, when he rolled on his side facing towards Castiel, a sigh escaped his lips. Dean squeezed the blanket and pulled it over his shoulder. The angel looked at him with a little smile growing on his face.

"Boy, if you weren't an angel this would be creepy", said a feminine voice behind him. "I have always wondered… Do angels dream?"

"I don't think so, since we don't sleep. But our vessels… They do dream." Castiel sighed turning his sight to Meg. It was weird how not long ago he felt sick just by her mere existence, but now, it was kind of comforting.

"And what do you dream of?", real curiosity on her tone.

"Mostly, nonsense. But, since… I got like this, about Heaven. A very specific piece of it."

"Let me guess… Does it involve certain green eyed, dumb-like faced, not-so-funny hunter?", Meg almost chuckled, and Dean revolved a little in the bed, making the angel and demon both low their tone.

"I just think it has something to do with the brain damage", Castiel answered with a whisper.

"Yeah, sure, good luck with that."

Meg left to get something to drink while Castiel stood there, watching Dean sleep. The dawn near and the darkness vanishing into shades of purple and blue, Castiel heard a sigh and his own name coming out of Dean's lips. And that gave him the determination he needed in order to fulfill his mission on that day: to protect Dean and send the leviathans back to Purgatory.

Dean was dreaming. He hadn't in a long time, or at least he hadn't dreamt anything but nightmares. But this night, so close to end with one that had turned into real life, his mind was playing something more placid instead. There was a forest with trees so tall he couldn't manage to see the sky. And in the middle of that forest, there was a little cabin with a porch looking directly into the woods. He could hear the squeaking of a rocking chair as someone pushed himself in it. The whole place smelled like fresh baked pie and recently mowed grass, and the sounds were mostly the leaves on the trees moved by the wind, hitting on each other.

It was so peaceful, so beautiful, so quiet… He walked towards the cabin and when he got to the door and turned to the rocking chair sound, there was Castiel. Reading a book, but turning his head up to him with a smile. The lines around his blue eyes and his hair revolving just a little bit because of the wind, filled his chest with a warmth he hadn't felt since his mom had tucked him into bed for the last time, the same night she died.

"Castiel", he had said while placing his hand on the shoulder covered by the eternal trench coat.

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 _Thank you for reading. Please, favorite/review. The third chapter should be up by Sept. 24th._


	3. Teams

_**N.A.:** Thank you for favoriting and all that stuff. We're already on the third chapter, that means only two more to go. This one's kinda more dramatic, but next one will be all kinds of sweet. So... Keep reading. And if you want to review or write to me to tell me (almost) anything, feel free to do it._

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It all went according to the plan. Castiel and Dean were again working as a team, the way it was all supposed to be. They would play a game on the father of all leviathans and end his kingdom of face-eaters, and for that to happen, they would work together, really together.

Dean would have Castiel covering his back, and he would do the same for Cass, as he had always done. After all, Castiel was his angel, the one who pulled him out of Hell.

He didn't even believe in guardian angels before Castiel. He didn't believe in God, to be completely honest. But then an Angel of the Lord appeared in front of him and told him he pulled Dean out of Hell and there was a handprint proving it. And even they figured that God was a jerk, Castiel had proven to be a real heavenly help. And when he became human for a while, he proved to be a decent one. And when he named himself the new God… well, he still was better than the last one.

And now. Now Castiel was more confused than before, more mind-absent than when he was in full-angel mode, but he was still gentle, and nice, and sincere, and good. And Dean wouldn't change anything about him. But still, Castiel deserved to be fixed. More than Dean deserved to be pulled out of Hell. It was the least he could do for Cass.

And then they did it. They played Dick and they put a bone through his freaking throat and he started… pulsating? And then there was a boom and all was covered in black goo and a white light blinded Dean and… where the hell was Cass?

Dean opened his eyes and looked around him. It was dark, it was cold, it was creepy. What the hell had happened? His ears buzzed and his ribs felt like he had fighted a boxer nine rounds and his sight was blurry… But there was him.

The trench coat was all stained and dirty, and the look on Castiel's eyes was different, and fixated somewhere behind Dean. But Dean was more than relieved to see him.

"You have to go", it was almost a whisper.

"Where are we?", Dean asked.

"Purgatory. You have to go."

"Are you… are you okay?", Dean wasn't used to the hurried tone in Castiel's voice.

"I'm okay. Somehow the… journey fixed me."

"Then zap us out of here, man", Dean was almost pleading.

"I can't. I don't have enough power. And the leviathan… they are coming. They will know if I use it, my power."

"Then we'll fight. Together. Come on, Cass!"

But Castiel was nowhere to be seen.

"Fuck!".

Castiel knew they would come for them both. Dean was a human. A hunter. He had send many of the creatures in there well… there. And if the rumors were true… He might be the only way out. But he couldn't put that weight on Dean's shoulders. Not after everything he had already done for everyone. For humanity. For the world. For Castiel.

Dean would be safer if Castiel kept his distance. He wouldn't be able to protect him, but he knew Dean was more than capable of taking care of himself. After all, he was a hunter. His whole life was a preparation for a situation like this. But Castiel felt a hole in his gut by leaving the human alone. He felt a cold in his chest, something he had never felt before. There was a void somewhere inside his body. A void where once lied a warm touch.

Dean was lost. Where in hell was Castiel? Why had he abandoned him? How did they get there?

All questions vanished when he heard a noise behind his back. A growl he had listened before. Thirst. Before he knew it, there was a freaking vampire on top of him trying to rip his throat off. He was still shocked by all the "We're in Purgatory" stuff, and would've surely been the vampire's lunch if there was not for a man with a freaking machete who showed out of nowhere.

"You're welcome. Name's Benny."

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 _So, this is it for the night. Fourth chapter will be up by Sept. 26th. Thanks for reading!_


	4. Hands

_**N.A.:** Hi, I intended to upload this last night, but there were things happening beyond my control. However, here it is. We're almost reaching the end of this story and I feel, well, thankful and surprised and overwhelmed over the amout of people who had read this. Thank you all and, please, review._

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"Rumor has it that a human can open a door to go back to Earth, it could be a gigantic ball of crap, but we should try."

Dean looked at Benny and saw a small hint of presumption, but inside all that smugness and irony, there was a real fire. A need. A desire so strong nothing was going to be able to stop him. He had reasons almost as good as his to go back to Earth. And if he could help him wander those horrid lands of Purgatory, he was gonna take the chance.

"I was living on transfusions, you know", Benny said and Dean almost believed him.

"Yeah, we'll see that when we're back there", was Dean response while getting the knife off his boot because there was something lurking in the shadows near them.

And then he saw him. It was bloody, muddy and torn in some parts, and he hadn't seen him in, like, weeks, but it was the trench coat.

"Cass!", Dean yelled from behind his back.

"Dean, what… what are you doing here? I thought I was being cautious. You should go. They're gonna find us quickly", said Castiel while drying his hands on the front of the coat, his reflexes going off about the man following Dean' steps.

"He's Benny… He's a friend", Dean paused watching Castiel composing himself. Something in the twitch of the angel's eyes and the tensed muscles on his neck told him it was not about Benny.

Castiel's look was fixated some point within the woods, and long steps took him beyond where Dean and Benny were standing. He adopted a defensive position that made Dean nervous.

"They are coming. Go, Dean! Go!", said the angel while standing with the angel blade drawn out. He was hearing sounds Dean couldn't in the trees, and then the growls started to get clear. Soon enough the three of them discovered themselves surrounded by a horde of leviathan.

They fought with blades, knives and machetes, they cut heads and kicked them away. They ended up exhausted. The team sat by a huge tree and caught their breath.

"So… You're the angel", Benny's voice was sore and loud, his chest going up and down with some difficulty.

"So they say", was Castiel's answer. He wasn't sure if Benny was being nice or rude, or if there were some sort of hidden sarcasm in his words.

"Okay, little birds, we need to get where the gate of this place is so we can go back to our lives, you know, those awesome and wonderful and perfect lives", a sigh escaped Dean's lips, but feeling Castiel's body right next to him, hearing him breathe, watching him clean his silver blade on one side of the trench coat, and he was sure everything would be alright.

Benny walked behind the other two, watching in between the leaves of the forest, looking for the other creatures who existed in there. He hadn't choose the life that was given to him. He just tried to survive, but failed dramatically. He had loved a woman, a beautiful, charming, perfect woman. And he had failed her, more than everyone.

But now he might have the chance to get it right.

He turned his view to the couple in front of him and then saw it. Dean was brushing his hand against Castiel's. And it was obvious for Benny that he wanted to hold it, but wouldn't dare to do it. When Dean had told him that Castiel had saved his ass and soul from Hell, he could notice something changing in the human's voice when the angel's name was said. There was a little spark of emotion and sadness and devotion. He had thought about it as gratitude and admiration, but the looks Dean gave Castiel, the worriness on his eyes when Castiel had flew and landed on a tree and that precise moment when he was so desperate to reach on the angel's hand had made it obvious. The guy was in love with the angel, even though he obviously didn't realised it yet.

And the angel was cautious, like trying so hard to keep a secret that was hinted by a sigh or by a tilt in his head when Dean did… about anything. When Dean wasn't paying attention, Castiel would look at him from the back of a boulder while he was washing his face, or put a hand on his shoulder while saying something he needed Dean to understand, looking directly on his eye. There was always a little smile when Dean talked about any of his hunts that, for some reason, he always ended with a "You should've seen it, man" sent to Castiel.

They kept walking and listening to the sounds of the darkness left behind them, when a cold breeze hit them in the faces. The murmur of the steps of a creature flew through the wind. They all stopped their march and reunited, back touching back defending all three fronts. A vampire Benny had knew for months in that place ran directly towards the three of them, fangs first. He was crazy and desperate and messy and strong… and before he could jump on and attack Dean's throat, Benny's machete made his head roll to the side of the path they were following.

Castiel's brows frowned at Benny but a relieved sigh and a quickly check on the status of the human being to his side brought back the blank stare he had held all the time before the assault.

Benny took the front of the parade and the other two followed his lead in silence, but with intertwined hands that Benny chose to ignore.

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 _Thank you for reading this. The next and last chapter to this story would be up by Sept. 28. Please, let me know what you think!_


	5. Endings

_**N.A.:** Hi there! This is the last chapter of this story. Just a few minutes ago I was deciding between the two possible outcomes I had thought about, and decided on this one because... Well, because of the feelings. By now, you should know how it really ended, if not, then go watch seasons 7  & 8 again. But well. I'll wait for your reviews sitting here, watching Supernatural and saving gazillions of gifs to answer everything on twitter (btw, it's MigoWTF). Thank you for reading this._

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Castiel had gone wash himself in a creek near where they were camping. Benny had said there was only a couple days of journey left before they get to the point where the portal was. Dean was sharpening his knife with a rock, just to be prepared for anything they might find on the way. Benny was standing, his back on a big old tree with leaves shaped like stars.

"Have I told you about her?", his voice traveled to Dean's ears and he rose his sight to meet the vampire's.

"Not much, actually."

"She's the daughter of a rich man. They had their own island in the Aegean sea. She was at a yacht club party, wearing a red dress that made her look so perfectly beautiful… I almost forgot what I was sent to do. But then she smiled at me, and danced with me, and kissed me… And everything else just vanished. It was like I was being born again", the emotion filled Benny's words, and Dean couldn't do anything but light a little smile. "Everything I'd been and done until that point, it disappeared."

With those words, a frail silhouette appeared behind the trees, with tired steps and wet, dark hair. Benny composed himself before Castiel and walked his way to the creek, leaving with a sigh. Castiel replaced him on the tree, vigilant of what might lurk into the shadows. His left hand caressed the bark of the tree, feeling its texture beneath his fingertips.

Dean watched at the absent, blue eyes. He stood up and walked towards the angel that trembled at the sound of leaves breaking at the hunter's feet. Dean's hand rested on Cass' shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine. Castiel wasn't one for lies. And it hurt him lie to Dean more than anyone.

"What's wrong?", Dean could feel the fear on Castiel's chest, if that was even possible.

"Nothing, I just- I think you should be the only one leaving this place. Benny… He's here for a reason, and I… well, I have done hideous things. Maybe I deserve to be here as well, after all, I'm a monster too."

Castiel's words felt like an axe cutting right through his chest, and Dean could imagine what the angel was feeling. He had felt before unworthy of saving himself. But there had always been Cass, reminding him that he had still good to do to this world. And Castiel had done nothing that could possibly resemble his own actions. So, if there was someone worth saving, that was Castiel. And Dean would save him, whether the angel liked it or not.

"Stop it. That's bullshit. We'll get out of here. The three of us. So you better get use to me being all upon your ass and help, you hear me? We're going back home."

"Okay", Cass' response was almost automatic, but there was a warm feeling spreading on his chest.

When Benny was back, Dean could remember the last words he had said about the woman he loved. And he could only think of a feeling as strong while looking at Cass. Was there a way to be forgiven beyond being pulled out of Hell? He didn't think so. But it didn't matter if he had to go back in there, just to be back home again, with his family, and that had included Cass since a long time ago. In a different way, though.

"You poor son a bitch", Dean whispered and Castiel tilted his head as usual, making Dean smile.

The night caught upon them and Castiel and Benny remained awake while the human slept. Benny walked towards Cass, unsure on how to say the words that had been swimming all day on his head. He stood in front of the angel and Castiel looked at him with intensity.

"Don't you dare leave him alone", Benny's voice was sore and deep.

Castiel looked at him with confusion and composed himself after a second.

"What makes you… what do you know about us? About me? About him?"

"I know that guy felt lost as a child in the middle of a sea full of sharks when I found him. And he had almost given up on going back home when we find you again. Don't do that to him. No matter what you think your sins are, the worst of them would be to leave him alone. He's not ready, you see? He had always had his brother -or so he has told me-, but is gonna end bad, I'm telling you. You… you are like an anchor, like a safe haven. Don't do it for me, fuck me… Well, no, I wanna go home too, but just… Do you get what I'm saying? It doesn't matter if you're an angel, or a wacko, or whatever. He just needs you."

With that said, Benny got back to sit just a yard away from Dean, whose sleep was full with nightmares of Sam being lost in Hell, Castiel being lost in Heaven, and himself being lost in between, with no way to reach any of them. And he could hear his own screams and begs in that dream, and he was desperate and… He woke up agitated, sweaty and anxious.

But Castiel walked towards him and put a hand on his cheek, closing his eyes like trying to say something directly to Dean's mind, without succeeding.

Benny decided it was time for him to go look at something deep in the woods, and Castiel gave him a look of gratitude. Dean was somehow confused, but relieved of having the angel in front of him. He felt safe, and warm, and wanted to stay like that forever. Castiel pulled away the hand resting on the face of the hunter, just to put it on his tight while seating in the grass.

"Thank you, Dean…", he started to say, but Dean shut him up pulling his face towards his' and pressing their lips together.

Confusion was all over the angel's face, and it was obvious, but Dean just looked at him in the eye in silence. When Castiel was calm again, Dean kissed him for a second time. Just to be sure he wasn't dreaming.

"I'm the one thanking you. We're going to be home tomorrow. And everything will be fine. I promise."

And he held Castiel's hand before going back to sleep.

The next day was the big day. And there was no going back. Dean was ready for the spell to make Benny go inside his skin so his soul could trespass the portal back to Earth, and they had the words that would open the door to go back home… But there's no way that would be so easy. After all, there was a Winchester involved.

So, a leviathan horde appeared. And they fought them and kicked their asses. And they had to run because the cavalry was coming. So they ran, and get to the top of a hill where a light shined and twirled and there was only one chance to make it work. Dean climbed and paused to help Castiel up, but he kept tripping and falling. Before Dean got down to carry him if it was needed, the growls and roars of the monsters hunting them filled the air.

"Go!", said Castiel. "Go now, please, GO!"

"I won't leave you in here. Come on, Cass!"

"Please, go…" and he ran down the hill and started cutting leviathan heads.

Dean felt torn apart between going down help Cass or running to the portal that was already closing. He didn't want to stay in that place, but he couldn't leave Castiel in there. He just stood there confused, an ache already going up his chest all the way to his throat. But his feet just took him down the hill.

And then Castiel slayed the last one of the monsters and ran towards Dean, grasped on his hand with such strength that the hunter thought he was gonna lose his arm. They ran directly to the glimmery portal that closed behind their backs and then they appeared in the middle of nowhere.

Dean's eyes were red and wet and he couldn't do anything but wrap his arms around the man on the coat. He started crying without care and sobbed and squeezed Castiel until his arms hurt.

"You didn't abandon me… Even when I asked you… Why?"

"You don't bail on family, Cass. Ever. And certainly you don't bail on love."

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 _Thank you for reading this story. And please, let me know how you like (or if you don't). I promise I'll write another fanfiction soon. And check the one whot on my profile. :D_


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